My Personal Paradise! (Winter Break, Part I)

Well, howdy!
I figured that I should probably update, as it's been over two months now...
I'm on Winter Break!! WOOHOO!
Sorry, for the lack of updates.
I was absutely drenched with finals recently.
They weren't as painful as I'd assumed they would be, which was a pleasant surprise.
Speaking of pleasantries, college has most certainly not been pleasant; in fact, college has
barely been decent.
I am so unhappy with my situation. I really don't enjoy Klamath Falls as much as I thought I would, and I loathe school itself. The people I surround myself with make this "school" experience much less dull, as well as considerably less painful. They're the only reason I'm still at OIT; they're keeping here (or there). I just don't know how long I can stick around for the sake of others. I mean, it's relatively hard to be sincere in your studies and day-to-day life when you aren't living for you, but instead for others around you.
I don't know. I just don't know!

I hate uncertainty. It's the worst kind of dread.

Hmmm. On a happier note:
I saw Paranormal Activity today!
The ending was phenomenal. The movie itself, however, was so-so. It's a very long ordeal, and the only exciting part happens to be the ending. Oh, well. It was a very good time anyway!

I may have to update this later because I am super tired. So, ta-ta for now!

Smile, Girl, Smile.

I haven't blogged in a few weeks because I've been excrutiatingly busy.

Where to begin?

There are so many things to talk about!

Most importantly, I went to church today for the first time in five or six years.

It was very nervewrecking at first, but I just felt like I needed to be there.

And Idid.

It renewed my love for God and the holy spirit, which is always good.
It felt right. I know that God is in working in my heart.

Today was the worst day I've had in a long time - I think since my freshman year of high school.

First, I met up with a teacher for my writing assignment. I woke up early to meet her, and then she was late. It was frustrating because I had class a half hour after she arrived.

I'm trying not to hold any type of grudge though because these things happen.
I'm glad that she wasn't hurt or in an accident or something.

Second, I blew up at my chemistry teacher. I have got to stop doing that. It's not productive. At all. Period. However, in my defense, this professor's teaching methods and my learning style differ drastically. As I am aware of this, I made it a point to get help from him. But, I feel as if he is not receptive to any of my needs as a student, which was the driving force for such intense frustration and tension. I've put in my effort, and will continue to do so, but it's irritating that I am paying a person who doesn't attempt to assist me in the ways that are necessary for my education.

Third, I have some kidney issue again. I am so stressed about it. I'm trying to give my worries to God. I know that there is absolutely no sense in becoming so frazzled and worried that I can't concentrate which is, in essence, what happened today. Thus, I have no concrete memory of any events following chemistry...A large problem, as I had three other classes.

Fourth, all of my anxiety hit today. All at once and in full force. I basically panicked all day long, for hours. I am physically and emotionally drained. Anytime that I opened my mouth today, I started crying. I tried so hard to focus on what, exactley, was upsetting me, and I couldn't come up with anything in particular. This fact led to more crying. I called three different people and blubbered to them on the phone. I'm a tiny bit disappointed in myself because I feel like I should have handled this better.

Fifth, I've overwhelmed myself. You know, when I was younger, I was told that I was too shy for my own good, and that I wouldn't have friends unless I was more outgoing. So, I think that I've tried to convince myself that I'm extroverted when I am most certainly not. I am, indeed, an introvert. I am friendly and nice to people, but I need time to reflect and process internally. I haven't been allowing myself that time to focus, and I can sense myself being irritable and ...unfocused. I need to spend more time alone, even if it means shutting myself in my room and staring at the ceiling.

Today has been rough.

Thank God that tomorrow is a new beginning.

God is good,

Kara

Hello, Headache? It's Me, Kara.

So, it's Monday.

I moved into my dorm room today.
I'm not going to lie, it was quite a fiasco.

My family and I had to lug over fifteen boxes up to

the second floor of the residence hall.

It was CRAZY!

Anyway, when my family - grandparents, sister, and mom- left.

I cried. It was really sad. I just felt really lonely.
I don't feel at home... at all.

I feel uncomfortable.
Mostly though, I just feel anxious and nervous.

Especially, because my boss didn't show up today

like she was supposed to. So, I came early for no reason.

I don't know. God placed me here for a reason, I suppose.

You know! I've downloaded some great new songs in these last

few hours. I love "Throw it Back" by Lil' Wayne. My Goodness,

the man has got it down. I love Lil' Wayne. I'd do him. ;-)
Oh! Can't forget Beyonce. I love the choreography in "Single Ladies."

But, I'm tired. I'm signing out.

The First Blog.

I decided to blog.

I'd like to document my college experiences.

Hopefully, I'll have more good than bad.

However, I'd like to begin by saying that I am absolutely thrilled to be a

part of the college community in Klamath Falls, Oregon.

Oregon Institute of Technology (OIT) seems like a wonderful place.

My Top Three Goals For This School Year:
1) Make new (amazing) friends.

2) Get into the nursing program.

3) Be more involved. (ie attend games, student function, etc)

You know, I'm going to help coordinate campus activities, as I am a member of ASOIT, which is the student government body at OIT.
I'm super proud that I have the opportunity to be deeply involved. It took three

interviews and way more phone calls than I can count to get this job!

I am one of the three students who were awarded membership with ASOIT.
I am stoked!

Hmm...On a more personal note:
I leave in five days, and I started packing last night.
I never realized how much ...crap I had in my room.
It's overwhelming.

Also, it's a weird time for me emotionally.

I'm excited to start my own life, but I'm sad that I'm leaving
my whole family behind. I don't want to be the sibling that goes
away to college and only visits once a year! I'd like to be more available
for my little sister and brother.

It's early in the morning and I'm very tired. So, I will definitely be
blogging tomorrow. For now, though, I'm going to bed.
Signing off! Goodnight!